Confusion

For about the fourth time this year, I am in the midst of slight boredom with work. It is strange to me, because at the old school I never got bored. Injured maybe, but never bored. So I try to keep that in mind and not take any boredom for granted.

I talked to my mom about it today in one of those conversations in which you're realizing your thoughts for the first time as you're speaking them. I know that I love teaching, I love my current school, and I am learning a massive amount by working in an environment that makes it look easy to help teachers and students succeed on many levels. However, working with students with severe emotional behavioral disorders in my old school always felt like a calling to me. Even on the hardest days, I had this sense that at the very least I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

While I still work with children who pose difficult problems with their emotional disorders, I never have that sense anymore. My purpose is suddenly much blurrier, although on the outside it may seem as if I have the exact same job. I don't know what all of these feelings mean right now, other than it might be the seed of something bigger that I may be doing in the distant future. For now, I'll remember that sometimes boredom is a luxury.