My Second Bachelor's

We're coming up here on my four year anniversary of living in New York. I'm going to submit to a little cliche here: the girl who moved here with two suitcases and a box seems completely unrecognizable to me today. In the past four years I taught five different grades and six different subjects to over 200 children. I traveled to Maine, Joshua Tree Desert, Colorado, North Carolina, and a few spots within a 2-hour radius of the city. I completed a masters degree. I moved to five different apartments in two boros. I learned how to be a better roommate, unfortunately through making quite a few rookie mistakes with my near and dear friend Keri. I spent way too much time on bad or just mediocre dates. I fell head over heels in love, and have remained in that state for an obnoxiously long time. I got hooked on podcasts, bad tv, and one-story. I ran a half-marathon, which was not nearly as hard as running a 4-mile run in 2-degree weather a few months afterwards. I played beach soccer, indoor soccer, and pickup soccer as much as possible. I got a literary agent, then was dropped just two months later. I dealt with what I hope is the worst personal tragedy in my lifetime, and after a bit of therapy, came out of it in one piece. I did the flying trapeze with my mom. I hosted my 14-year-old cousin for her 2-week stay in the city. I welcomed a baby niece to the world, as well as quite a few new cousins and babies of friends. I broke my nose and my scaphoid, both in ridiculous ways. I made a fool of myself more times than I want to remember right now, but I made quite a few good decisions, though, too. I got a dog that I love and obsess over. I read a countless books and stories. All in all, I've had a lot of fun.

After four years of city life, I feel as if it is time for me to graduate. The biggest difference between this "graduation" and my undergraduate graduation, is that the first time around, five very long years ago, I left my college campus feeling pretty certain about everything: the way the world works, why things happen, what I wanted to do with my life, and how the next five years of my life would pan out. Now, and probably a bit more realistically, I haven't got a clue. I can't figure out why anything really happens anymore and I don't know what I'll be doing this time next year. And as someone who can get pretty obsessed with a plan, the best thing I have thought to do is to make a list of 30 things to do before I'm 30. So now I frequently daydream about my trip to the Moab Desert, or how I'll go crazy trying to submit my first novel to publishers.

Feeding my questions about my future is the fact that June 26th will be my last day working for the New York City Department of Education, something that still somehow shocks me. In many ways I feel that a part of my spirit, and maybe even my heart, has been broken by the mess of a system that is the DOE. And even as I leave, I feel that I am giving up. It's not a great feeling, although I am excited about much of what lies ahead. I have already started my new job as an ABA therapist working in the homes of students with autism. It's early intervention, one-on-one, and so far going extremely well. It's refreshing to be able to give truly individualized care and feel that I am working with a team that is actually producing results. But all of this transition has been much more difficult than I ever would've expected.

One thing I have learned in the past four years is that the dates that are set aside for celebration (graduation , birthdays, etc.) are frequently not as worthy as other days. For example, why don't teachers who have made it through the first year in tact get a huge party? In these four years, I have grappled with questions that are much bigger and more relevant than anything I ever did in college, simply because they have a real context. I'm no longer reading life from a textbook. So, as I said before, it's time to graduate. And just like I left Columbia, Missouri after my undergraduate career, I'm ready to leave something behind and start a new chapter. I won't be leaving New York, I still love it too much. But I will be leaving the blog. Over time, I've posted fewer and fewer entries, frequently causing my Uncle Jim to think I am dead. And I am finding that the time I do have for writing I want to spend on other projects, one of which you can check out here.

So this is it, the final good-bye. Thank you for checking in here on Aisle Life over the last 400 entries. I think it might just be time to throw myself a graduation party.

What?!

This morning I was perusing the NY Times website and came across this article. As a constant toter of the 48oz. Nalgene bottle filled with water, I was more than a little surprised that the 8-cups-of-water-a-day rule is completely unsubstantiated. What are they going to say next, An apple a day doesn't keep the doctor away?

I Saw the Sign...Literally

While I have been on vacation during the past week, I have let a lot of worry overcome me. I've been stressed about work-related issues and the dog, whose "little problem" is taking far more time and energy than we ever thought it would.

Today, after being lost in Little Rock (of all places) for a little over an hour, I finally found my way back to JFK Boulevard in North Little Rock. Happy to be back in a place I recognized, I stopped by the bank. As I was leaving, I looked up to see a sign in front of a church. It said, "Worry is the misuse of imagination."

I think it's time I get a bit more imaginative.

If I Could Change the World...

...it would wake up when I did. I'm on vacation, but I've still been up since 5:30. Even the dog isn't ready to get up. You should have seen the look she gave me. It was as if she were saying "You can't be serious" before putting her head back down and closing her eyes.

I have a list of errands I need to run today, but nothing is open yet. Library books can't be returned. Checks can't be deposited at the bank. I can't even make a few crucial phone calls.

If it were up to me, whatever makes my eyes pop open between the hours of five and six every day, would make everyone's eyes pop open at the same time. Then at least I would have someone to talk to...or at least cook breakfast for.

If you're up, give me a call.

Changes

So the dog has officially taken over our lives. I knew how much it really took to take care of a dog...okay, maybe I didn't. Somehow that time was underestimated. Everything gets a little more complicated and suddenly my roommate and I are e-mailing, texting, and talking constantly about whether or not she's caught the frisbee, behaved well at the dog park, or pooped. It's gotten to the point that the other day, when Mona had pooped three times in one day, my roommate proudly cheered over her "hat-trick."

We have both completely fallen in love with her and all her quirks. Such as how she prefers ice cubes as a treat or nips my roommates nose to greet him after I take her on her morning walk. We do too much research on whether or not she should play tug o' war and both take the time to learn how to get a pit bull to release it's grip from her neck if, for some reason, she is ever attacked by one. So yes, it is bordering on obsessive.

But after a week, things seem to be calming down a bit and we're settling into life with a dog. Now she's snoring next to me on the couch while I survey how much shed hair is on our carpet. Definitely time to vacuum.

Dog Days

So after years of daydreaming about this day, it has finally arrived. Tonight I am picking up my new dog! She's a greyhound/pointer mix named Mona and I am already in love.

Things I have already discovered about owning a dog:

(1) It is much harder to coordinate travel plans.
(2) They are expensive.
(3) The Petco selection of leashes and collars is absurdly large, bringing out the worst of my inability to make a decision on small matters.
(4) My ability to worry is much bigger than I ever knew. I feel like an overprotective, first-time parent as I research dog foods, toys, and veterinarians.

Here she is:

That Time of Year Again

I'm so excited that it's baseball season again. Last year I made it to a measley two games. This year will definitely be different seeing that I'm sans-thesis and not working during the summer! The Mets won the opening game, and I'm ready for more!!

No Sleep In Brooklyn

This weekend in a nutshell:

• awesome party with old friends, ended up playing Dance Dance Revolution till one in the morning
• attempted to dye my hair dark brown, ended up dying it black, love it
• got hooked on a marathon of America's Best Dance Crew, which turned me into a huge fan of the JabbaWockeeZ (should've listened to my friend Teresa several weeks ago when she told me to start recording it!)
• not sleeping much lately, but trying to trick myself into sleeping through somewhat useless techniques...hopefully tonight will be different
• writing a ton and in the process of applying for a couple of courses
  
• avoiding practice tests for the GRE...no really, I don't even want to talk about it...
• already ready for summer vacation, must slow down and enjoy work a bit more
  

Quite a Month

I might as well change the name of this blog to Bullet Points. Here's a few events/thoughts from the past few busy weeks.

• I went hiking in New Paltz with a couple of friends on Saturday. Three new loves: zipcar, the oldest street in America with the original housing, and Inquiring Minds Bookstore.
• On February 15th I made the final payment on my $16,000 car. It feels amazing to have paid off that amount after five long years (I believe in one previous blog I called the car the bane of my financial assistance.) Over the past few months I have been debating on selling or donating the car. But I no longer have to make that decision. A junkyard is coming to pick it up tomorrow after someone totalled it in a hit and run while it was parked in front of my house. Now the debate is whether or not to have fun causing more damage to the car before it's towed away. (Josh is the big more-damage advocate.)
• For the teachers out there, Google is having a great competition called Doodle 4 Google. It might just be one of my favorite assignments I have ever given my kids. We're all having a blast. But the math projects I assigned my students this year might just beat it by the end of the month. Listening as my students get excited about their topics (Math in Video Games, Evolution of the Calendar, or even Florence Nightingale, who used math to improve quality of needlesticks when taking blood) is quite possibly the most awesome experience of my year, especially after so much test prep.
• Today I am going to the podiatrist yet again to solve another little debate I've been having with myself. Should I cut off my foot, or finally give in and get surgery. The both are equally scary to me, but after 14 months of shots and medicine and random pain, it might just be time to try something new. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
• And still another debate, but this one much more fun. Alan and I are going to a wedding in two weeks and decided to have a blast dressing up. I bought two dresses after much, much shopping, and yesterday held a household vote for which one I should wear to the wedding. A strappy, purple number won 4-1. I can't wait to wear it!!
• And something that's no debate at all - a book called Crashing Through that my friend Sharon recommended to me. It's about a man, blinded from the age of three, who has his sight restored and what transpires thereafter. Sometimes it feels a little like a book on speed because so much is told so fast, but there's also the great realizations in the descriptions of what he's going through. My favorite thus far, after opening his eyes to see for the first time, he is leaving the doctor's office. He walks through the waiting is room and is stopped short by the sight of the carpet. He says, "How could a person just sit there when such a carpet is happening?"

Blast from the Past

Today I found a picture taken in my classroom during my second week of teaching. I could not stop staring at it. I look like a baby, innocent with this huge smile (probably induced a bit by trying to cover up my huge amount of shock.) I can't believe the picture is only four years old. It's not that I look old now, but that I look like an adult. In this picture I look like a college kid.

I don't think I've ever been so struck with a feeling of "This is me before...everything." This picture is before any real teaching experience, before my Masters degree, before what was (hopefully) the worst tragedy I will face in my life, before meeting Alan, before the birth of my niece, before so much. And there's something about the photo that I love, as if somehow as long as the picture exists so does the innocence I possessed at that time. But there's also something very strange because I feel like I've time-traveled and come face-to-face with myself, and realized it's not me at all.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Yesterday I had some of the most productive parent teacher conferences I've ever had, but I also came to a conclusion about how the long line of parents standing outside my door can be managed a bit better. I think after the school's recommended six minutes of conference time with a parent, the Oscar music should start so the parents know that, unfortunately, it's time for them to exit stageright.

New Favorites

So many new, good things! The short list:

• Very Short List - a daily e-mail about something cool: books, movies, random websites. Subscribe immediately!
• Cookbooks - Suddenly I own four, and now it's extended into my library-obsession. Today I checked out The Best American Recipes 2000. I've already looked through the entire book and marked my future meals with blue post-its. And on Friday, I will finally have time to grocery shop...it's going to be a food-filled weekend!
  
• Stuff White People Like - a hilarious blog that Alan says I like because I'm white.
• Tournament of Books - The Morning News is entering their third year of a March Madness type of competition for books. Check out the "brackets" here.
  
• Following in the footsteps of Radiohead, the much talked-about novel Beautiful Children by Charles Bock is available here for free download until Friday at midnight. I just got mine.
  
• David Archuleta on American Idol. Yes, I said American Idol.
  

Back and Other Things

So I'm back from Colorado and beginning the brief mourning process I go through at the end of ever vacation. I'm also combatting that sadness by throwing a party at my house called The Big Bad Mama Jama Pajama Party. Me and six girlfriends are celebrating oldschool tonight...we have old chick flicks (think Cutting Edge) and plenty of food, but unfortunately I lost out on my ebay bid for the game GirlTalk. It ought to be a fun night!

As far as "other things" go, I found a very interesting website. It's called zipskinny. Type in your zipcode and you get all sorts of data about your town/neighborhood based on U.S. Census Bureau data. Definitely check it out!

Still Awake

I am wide awake long past the time I'm usually nodding off. I have another case of busybrain. First and foremost, I'm going over and over my packing list for my trip to Denver. The suitcase is mostly packed, and I must say that I have to win for most creative way of packing snowshoes ever!! Second, I'm reading blogs, trying to get caught up on all the ones I like to visit before my personal five-day boycott of the internet. This one was particularly interesting to me, though I'm not really big on Valentine's Day. I'm also thinking about a meeting I have tomorrow. I'm not going to go into details because I have this wierd jinxy feeling that is quite unlike me, but if you read this before 4:00 on Thursday, send positive vibes my way! Finally, the thing that is really helping distract me from nervous feelings about tomorrow afternoon is a cd mix I'm making for myself called, "Come on, get happy...at work." It includes twenty upbeat songs ranging from Juanes to the Fratellis and from Ben Lee to James Brown. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will work after a particularly rough week at work. Maybe, just maybe, the cd will be the key to my sanity...or at least my message to myself to just get over it and have some fun.

Sick and Awake

So, after a healthy fifteen hours of sleep, I am feeling a bit better and spending some quality time with the television. Recently I haven't been watching as much tv. I'm shocked at how quickly I've forgotten what kind of trash is on there. The only thing in my DVR was Project Runway, so after enjoying that little morsel of TV goodness...well, here's the list of other shows I watched:

What Not to Wear
10 Years Younger
Millionaire Matchmaker

I won't get into why each of the shows are horrendous, despite being the best option for their timeslots. And I just took a look at what Oprah's episode is about today to find this blurb: "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?"

I think I'm about to give up. Which means I will have to actually get off of the couch and peruse the DVD selections. TV...you're making me sad.

Flu? Tonsilitis? Who Cares Anymore?

Back from the doctor today, and the news is that I still cannot go back to work. I've been couch/bedbound since Sunday...mostly sleeping and staring into space. Today I've been well enough to multitask a bit...meaning watching tv and encouraging my new addictions of facebook and Travel IQ Challenge. I'm surprised by how much I am just ready to go back to work. Hopefully with a more medicine and sleeping/staring, I'll be ready for Friday. Till then...back to Travel IQ Challenge.

A Look at My Inbox

Okay, I'm going to admit something slightly ridiculous: I e-mail myself several times daily. The subject lines typically read one of the following:
Remember this...
Read this...
Eat here...
Buy this cd...
Blog about this...
Etc, etc, etc.

I was cleaning out my e-mail account when suddenly I realized that the only e-mails I had left in my inbox were from me! All the others had been sent to my gmail Archives, but I deemed myself better than that. It's almost as if I have signed up for my own listserv, complete with recommendations for what restaurants to try, what authors to see in the city, or what music to check out on itunes. I'm definitely glad I'm a subscriber...

While I Was Working...

When Alan picked me up from work today, he was very excited to tell me what he'd been doing all afternoon. A college friend had introduced him to abandonware, a type of software that contains all sorts of old games that are no longer produced. So today he started with Oregon Trail. He told me he named a character after me. Our conversation:

Alan: You died, and it made me sad.
Me: Please don't tell me it was from dysentery.
Alan: It was! (followed by melodramatic hug.)
Me: Did you marry someone else after I died.
Alan: Yes. But the oxen lived.

Next he showed me Life and Death, a game where you pretend to be a doctor. He showed me how to do the basic patient check-up and how to look for kidney stones on an x-ray, then finally admitted that he had killed several patients because he did not know how to perform an appendectomy. But not to worry, he has already found a website explaining how to make the McBurney's incision, which included cross-references!!

Later he proudly informed me that he had indeed found Carmen Sandiego. While I am tempted to just make fun of him, I am actually more tempted to join in the fun.

Interesting...

Tonight I went to a bar that one of Alan's friends works at. Besides having a great time with people I haven't seen for a while, I also met a woman who started talking to me about the upcoming presidential election. She introduced to me to glassbooth. You answer a small number of questions about where you stand on different political issues; it then matches you with the top three presidential candidates that have the same beliefs as you do. My highest match was Mike Gravel, a candidate I've never even heard of...which makes me feel like an astoundingly uneducated voter. It also gives you more in depth information about how certain candidates match your beliefs, such as voting records, etc. Definitely worth checking out...And now, to bed. When a friend works at the bar, you always end up drinking too much...

Math Teacher Doing Math

While on my lunch break today I started discussing the amount of practice testing we have been doing at the school lately. I tracked back to two weeks before the Holiday Break and started counting the days used for taking practice state math exams, practice state literacy exams, the actual state literacy exam, and the Acuity math exam. Out of 27 potential school days, 15 days were devoted to testing or practice testing. That leaves only 12 days to actually teach the kids what they're going to be tested on. I don't think I really need to say anything else.